EMT Cracker, Student Paramedic

How the Time Flies...

2010-01-17T19:52:00.000-08:00

Good Lord, Has it really been since Oct? Time does fly when everything is going to hell. On the school front, everything has been going well. I'm now ACLS qualified, I've been sticking needles into folks like mad in clinical practice. All in all, that side is going great.

On the personal side everything has gone straight to hell. All I will say is that if your other is a needy person, they will not understand all the time Paramedic school takes. So the divorce will be pretty soon but I'm ready for it. In other words I've said my goodbyes to all of my possessions and can now move on.

End of Phase One

2009-10-23T13:05:00.001-07:00

I finished the end of phase one with a 92%. It's not a perfect score, but it's still an A. Clinicals start in two weeks. In two weeks I'll be sticking needles into to people and running tubes down their throats. Hooray!!!!

Study, Study, Study

2009-10-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

It has been nothing but studying as I near the final for prepatory phase. On top of that I have a new night job at one of the local hospitals as a monitor tech, and I am trying to divorce a woman who doesn't understand that the words "I want a divorce" means that I want a divorce. Just never enough time in the day when ya work two jobs and go to school full time.

I.V. Practice

2009-09-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

So this our practice arm. Not bad as fake arms go. As you can see, it even has fake blood coursing thru it. Fake blood that will not come out of your clothes, as some of my unlucky teammates have discovered. I don't want to criticize the program, but for this area, what we need to practice on is fat arms. Most of the people I saw in clinicals did not have arms this nice. No big highway veins that just pop out at ya screaming stick me. No they either encased in layers of fat or on the arms of little old ladies who used to play bridge with Methuselah. Next week we test using the Paramedic Practical guides for scoring. THEN, we finally get to stick real people for a change. The scary part is we also start practicing endotracheal tubes next week. It just keeps rolling along.

This Is Hard!

2009-09-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

There is far more knowledge to learn in Paramedic school than I would have thought. And this is just the preparatory stage. Basically it's everything I learned in EMT school plus. I've been trying to read every night, but going thru a divorce with a woman who doesn't want it to end is not a conducive reading environment. At least she is finally getting the fuck out of my house tonight. Did I mention I hate drunks.

Still haven't got to make anyone but myself bleed. At least they finally broke out the life like arm so we could at least pretend like we are sticking someone. Practical Instructor Man, PIM for short until he earns a nickname, say we can begin conicals in two weeks. I can't wait. Intubations in 20 hours of surgery and 55 hours in the ER trying to stick people.

Minty Fresh

2009-08-31T13:06:00.000-07:00

I PASSED!!!!!!!! The national registry test is done. I have rarely been so nervous before a test in my life. So now I can concentrate on my paramedic studies and start sending those job apps to every hospital and fire service that I can find.

Paramedic school is starting off slowly. The College, in it's infinite wisdom, decided to kick us up to the old campus. I guess they became tired of us putting the anatomical study skeletons in suggestive positions. Anyhoo, most of our practical time has been spent moving equipment. As to last weeks I.V. practical, I didn't get to stick anybody. Instead we were issued I.V. tubing and some catheter needles and sent home to practice. If I don't get to make someone bleed this week, I'm gonna stick myself and bleed on the instructors shoes.

Classes Have Begun

2009-08-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

So I started the Paramedic program yesterday. It is gonna be so freaking awesome. A whole lot of time to be invested, but I can't wait. Starting next class we get to stick needles in people. YEAH!!!!!

Top Dog Again

2009-08-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

98.2 GPA and now I'm waiting till Sat. for the practical exam and the NR test on Tuesday. Clinicals were awesome. I actually got to help people who were in need and only had to deal with one leach who felt the world owed him everything. A huge round of thanks to all of the Paramedics, EMTs,Firefighters, Nurses, and Doctors who not only endured my endless questions, but also explained without me asking, told stories about their student days, and shared tales of things to gross too even think of during dinner breaks. Last, but not least, a huge thank you to Mr. Instructor Guy. You are freaking awesome!

Suicide is not painless

2009-07-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

Last night I helped with a suicide attempt. Patient had overdosed on pills. She was breathing her vomit when the ambulance wheeled her in. That gurgling sound she kept making as her body tried to breathe will stay with me for a long time. The worse part was feeling the vibrations of of those gurgles thru the bag as I tried to help her breathe.

Clinical Details

2009-07-27T13:02:00.000-07:00

So there I was, about to have lunch with all the paramedics I was gonna be working with. We had just placed our order when the tone went off. The two para's I rode over with stood up, so I went with them. As we start rolling towards the accident, I hear the dispatch come on announcing the accident. Motorcycle vs. Car. Motorcycle rarely wins those. So as we roll, I put on gloves and pull the bag out of the locker so I can have everything ready to go when they stop.
We stop and I get out and hand the para his bag and go over to the patient and grab his head to immobilize him. All that's visible of his knee is bone shards sticking thru his flesh, and then I look down at his feet. His right leg is out of the boot and I can see the bottom of his foot when I should be seeing at the top.After the lead Para cuts his jeans I can see that the whole lower half of his leg is in an S shape. NOT GOOD! So we vacuum splint him, back board and call for life flight. He has a broken pelvis, shattered lower right leg and foot, and a broken and torn knee. He had only had his Harley for 2 months and went to wide in the corner, bounced off the front of a truck, and crashed in the ditch. So we transported him to the LZ and loaded him off to Life Flight, which was awesome. In fact my only embarrassed moment came when we were putting him on the life flight stretcher. They just slide it under the backboard, so we were gonna have to lift him up. I forgot that the person at the head of the stretcher controls the count. Guess where I was standing? I'm waiting to lift and look up and see eight pair of eyes staring at me and trying not to laugh, so I rushed thru the 123, lift.
We found out later from a ER nurse at the hospital where he went, that he also had a small tear in the Aortic artery and that the surgeons were unable to save his foot. He was not a young man.

Second call was a lesson in the entitlement mindset that will break any national health care that the a-holes in Washington might pass. 32 year old welfare/ disability king. Had blood in his catheter so he demanded that a helicopter be waiting to transport him to Big City Hospital because he didn't want to ride that far in an ambulance and, I quote, "All the doctors around this town are a bunch of dumbass faggots". Had a med list that read like a junkie's wet dream. He was stoned as hell and alternated from hitting on the female Para to regaling us with tales of how hard his life had been. One foot didn't work, got shot in the back for no reason when he was young( Later we learned he was shot in the back while running away from the drug dealer he had just robbed), missing a testicle, Blah, Blah, Blah... I later told the para's that if we pluck out an eye we could name him lucky. Funniest part was trying not to laugh as the Para tried to question him and stoned boy would go off on tangents.

Third call was Mama's boy. Thought he might have eaten peanuts and said he was allergic to em. His wife drove him to the station and we evaluated him for thirty min. No reaction but he wanted us to take him to the hospital in the ambulance "Just in case" . The hospital was a 1/2 mile away.

The last two didn't bother me a bit because I was still so happy to be a part of the team that helped save the first call. THAT is what I want to do. I know every call won't feel as good. I know there is a lot of drudgery and bullshit like the entitlement king. But, if I can get that one call where I can be of true help then all the rest of it is worth it to me.

Real Time Learning

2009-07-15T13:05:00.000-07:00

So I got to spend four hours in the ER Monday night. It was slow as molasses. Most of the people were just constipated, not about to die as they seemed to think. One possible coronary, one pregnant girl in distress, and one broken foot. I did get to learn some new skills so it was a decent night.

The one thing that made me laugh was watching the Charge nurse tell a young lady how it is. This young lady comes into triage just crying and blubbering like she's about to die. After about five minutes of this the charge just looks at her and says," If you could stop whining for a few minutes I can get your info and get you to the back". The Charge would be dead if that young lady's looks could have killed, but she stopped blubbering for the needed info and immediately went back to her histrionics as soon as able. Now, I and the two nurses that saw and over heard this are trying not to just die laughing. So when the charge comes up to the station I ask him about his wonderful bedside/tableside manner. It seems little miss whiner was out in the lobby just laughing and joking and generally having a good ole time with her friends prior to coming up when her name was called and the water works started right as she grabbed the handle of the triage door.

Backboards Suck!!!

2009-07-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

Last night we had the privilege of being back boarded. Damn that sucks. I know I'll have to do this for patients and that's fine, but being back boarded gives you an appreciation for exactly how scary this can be for some patients. We also got to practice two person standing take downs using the long board. That is not gonna be fun with a bariatric patient.

I'm still the lead dog in grade point, but clinicals start this week.

Take Home Tests

2009-06-25T10:47:00.001-07:00

I just don't get the whole concept of take home tests. I'm older than the other students so I was raised in the era of you do the work or you fail. Period. But the last two tests we had were take home. I wish I would have known earlier so I could have saved myself the hours of studying until 1 or 2 a.m., but at least I know the material and not just the answers. The thing that pisses me off the most about these two test are the fact that they will, in my opinion, artificially inflate my opponents, I mean classmates, grade point averages. I have the highest grade point because I work for it. It's my way of keeping score. And now they get to close the gap with take home tests. It's like were all running the marathon and they get to take a damn taxi for a couple of miles. It means nothing in the long run, I'll know more for the National test, but it still pisses me off.

Things To Remember

2009-06-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

When learning about the lung sounds that might indicate troubled breathing, never forget that:
1. Stridor is not a ranger.
2. Crackles are not made by to many rice crispies in the lungs.
3. Wheezes do not move on up to the east side after use of an inhaler.

Things Cracker is not allowed to do.

2009-06-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

I am not allowed to refer to the medic giving a elderly patient the Heimlich maneuver as the geezer squeezer.

Cyanotic patients are not to be referred to as looking kind of smurfy. All smurfy references are smurfing forbidden.

Just because "Another One Bites the Dust" is a perfect 100bpm, it is not acceptable to hum it while performing CPR.

Learning Points

2009-06-09T13:17:00.000-07:00

Thing's I learned in EMT school: It is not acceptable to tell the worried wife, who asks if her husband is gonna make it, that she might wanna update her facebook status.

Easy Peasy

2009-06-09T10:16:00.000-07:00

So far EMT school is pretty easy. Mostly because I have completed all of the pre-reqs for nursing school. I put in my Paramedic school app today, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I still lead my class in grades. Now if I can only memorize all the alphabet mnemonics they are teaching us I should do well on the practicums.

What To Do?

2009-06-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

So I found out last night that if I take two PE classes I'll have enough credits to get my Associates degree in Para medicine. I wonder if I should take walking or advanced walking. I think they teach you how to chew bubble gum in advanced walking. The other cool thing I found out is that if I graduate the Para program on time, then right after that Instructorguy is gonna give a Wilderness EMT certification class. I was told classes will be given in the wilderness.

Another test down and my grades climb higher. 98.5 grade point so far.

Top of the World

2009-06-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

That's right. I am the lead dog. So far I have the highest grade and am doing well in my EMT class. It would be nice if EMS was not the red headed step child of the allied health dept here at Podunk U. I think that I am really going to enjoy this training and may even stop at being a paramedic. It's outside and hand's on helping. Though, if I didn't have to, I damn sure wouldn't do a summer class again. Tests every class. 2 Classes a week for 5 hours. It takes it out of ya.

Things Have Changed

2009-05-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

So some things have changed. I only made alternate for the R.N. program and have shifted to EMT. Classes start tomorrow. I'm a little disappointed in myself, but life does go on.